Sexy, free dates?

I’ve been shamelessly lounging around the pool this summer, relaxing, tanning, and reading each and every page of Cosmo. When I got “The Hot Issue”, I couldn’t wait to dig in
and find out just exactly which 125 moves guys had rated as tops.

After all, the magazine boasted these techniques as ones to send guys right over the edge. But before I made it to that section, I was distracted by an article on 12 SEXY, TOTALLY FREE DATES. Hmmm…sounded interesting. So, I took a sip of my frozen drink and had a look.

The writer of the piece claimed the ideas were “fun, romantic, and creative.” Let me share some of them and let you be the judge. The first idea was an alternative to going out for dinner and having to spend a ton of money on your meal. The suggestion was to head to a grocery store that offers samples. I don’t know about you, but the pea-sized samples from the grocery stores I’ve been to, including Central Market, would not count as dinner.

Too bad if you get thirsty with that delicious meal; you’ll have to wait until you hit the wine shop down the road offering free tastings. I wonder what they would pair with sausage on a toothpick. And the best part was her idea on dessert. No worries here. Just drop in your local ice cream parlor and ask for samples for a bunch of flavors. I guess she hasn’t seen the miniscule spoons they use. Honestly, I don’t see anything fun about running around town eating free samples because you can’t afford to pay for dinner.

Here’s one for football fans. The author claims there isn’t any need to shell out a lot of cash to watch a game during regular season. Forget the guy with the season tickets to the Cowboys at their new stadium. Go for the guy who will take you to the free pre-season games. She says you can “make-out in the stands…” Now I know that this chick isn’t from Texas. No girl in her right mind expects to make out with her man at a game. In the parking lot after - maybe, if his team wins.

Her other ideas ranged from ridiculous to down-right hilarious. This one has to be my favorite. What is the ultimate free, sexy date? Why sex, of course. But…it gets better. The author goes so far as to suggest a way to get out of paying for condoms. She obviously doesn’t realize that the cost of protection can save you millions of dollars in child-rearing expenses later down the road. No kidding. You can sign up for free condoms, lube, and they will even throw in a vibrating ring! Check out www.jollyjohns.com

The article ends with a little blurb that reads: “No Money? No Problem.” Apparently, studies show that experiences rather than possessions result in longer-lasting happiness. I couldn’t agree more. I recently had the most awesome experience at a five-star resort complete with three-course meals. And the best part...dessert wasn't served up on a spoon.